My Hero, My Cult

This week is a difficult one for me. As most of you know, my hero, Warren Steed Jeffs, was arrested this week. Mr. Jeffs is the greatest cult leader of all time. Sure David Koresh and Jim Jones went down in a blaze of glory with mass suicide/murder but how many cult leaders can live the true dream of having 40 wives and 60 some odd children? The best part about Mr. Jeffs is that in the midst of a polygamy, statutory rape and underage marriage he still found time to promote Republican politics. I for one find it comforting that such Godly people such as Mr. Jeffs support the family value, Right-Wing party that currently lifts our country to one of the highest levels of bigotry, ignorance and classism we have ever witnessed. My question for you to discuss is why are there little or no Liberal cult leaders out there? I guess it is my job to start a cult where we support the freedom of moral decision, social justice, equality and peace. I guess I could travel the country recruiting young families to support my cause as we attempt to form our own little kingdom separate from the world and at the same time in this world. That would be totally cool. I think I could get about a billion people to join. I am going to start this right now. What? You mean this Liberal cult already exists? Who? Jesus started this cult 2,000 years ago? Crap! Jesus ruins everything!