My New Look!?!

Well here is my new look! I was thinking that I needed a make over and fast! Looking at the pictures that my wife has been posting of me I decided I needed a whole new package... No not that one! I went for the obvious tummy tuck and facial reconstruction. I decided to do some lasik and fix those beautiful brown eyes that mysteriously change hazel from time to time. I made the wonderful people at Fox give me a muscle lift for the heck of it, just to even everything else.
People have been asking, "Stew, why would you change what God has given you?" The simple answer is that I was starting to look a bit like a not-so-famous internet character by the name of Senor Cardgage.
I think the improvement will make my life easier as my wife has not stop drooling over her new boy toy. However, there is a small part of me that feels that I took the easy way out. I guess I have more respect for those who actually work hard or take steroids to give themselves their dream body. Yet, respect does not get you good looks and bulging muscles, no, respect gives none of these things. Therefore I choose muscles and looks over respect. Besides I can finally wrestle that Harry Potter book away from Rikki once and for all! I am unstoppable!

I Want My Wife Back!

My wife, the beautiful Doctor in Training is participating in the madness known as Harry Potter. Although I love my wife very much, I do not think I will be able to hold any resemblance of sanity if she does not finish the book soon. I have made an oath to the Lord that I will not read a book if their is to be a movie or video game release that will save me the time and energy to catch up. Therefore I have not read any of the Potter books and I can safely say that I am very unlikely to ever do so. If hard pressed I can always fall back on religious grounds of how Harry Potter is Satanic because it deals with wizards and witches and other fun topics.

One Long Week AKA Stealing money!

This has been the longest two weeks of my life! I think the climax of this adventure was reached this weekend when I was in charge of the church for the entirety of all services. I preached and I taught and I prayed until I had nothing left. I left it all on the field; I gave 110%! In all actuality it was rather fun and I enjoy what I do. It feels like stealing to take a salary for being a pastor. If only I can find away for getting paid to play video games. Speaking of Stealing...
Lately I have been addicted to Animal Crossing. It seems that all my free hours are spent trying to pay off my debt to a crazy raccoon by fishing and catching bugs while trying to please a nomadic hodgepodge of animal species. The sad thing is that their seems to be striking parallels to my insane life.

Trying to add a picture to my profile

Who would of thought that uploading a picture in my profile would be so difficult? I know, I know, I should ask God. I think it is a conspiracy at blogger to weed out would be bloggers or bloggets and save some cash on bandwidth. It is like the 30 man code in Contra... only the faithful will discover the truth! Alas, I guess it should be time to mention that my wife has a blog and it is in my links section. Check it out and tell her how beautiful her blog is.
Sarah wins the award for first person to use semi-foul language on my blog. Scrumtrulecent! Almost as sweet as my picture in front of the Friendly Confines aka Wrigley Field. I think my friend Beth will probably win the award for the first true swear word in my blog unless I blog about my commute to work or if I blog about my previous three years in Kansas City. Of course I have been known to drop some bombs when I die in a video game or when I think about the Republicans or hang out with Sarah. She really brings out the sailor talk in God fearing people! Of course that is why I love her.
From time to time the Story of God and video games appear together in a more obvious format such as Christian video games. I was recently playing a game called "Spiritual Warfare" where the object was destroying Satan with the Fruit of the Spirit. Each fruit (think apple and pear and not peace, love, joy etc) has its own power to damn all those who play with the Devil to hell. My favorite part is if you venture into the bar you are thrown in the sewer and your journey is difficult. To bad the game is for Nintendo and not XBox. The XBox version would include a full debauchery mode where young believers could face temptations like cigarettes and hard core drugs like pot. No wonder Christians are so good at video games it is the only way in which we are allowed to particpate in good ol' sin without any of the guilt or shame! Yeah for Video Games and Jesus!

Ask God All The Hard Questions

Is it just me or do most people always want answers to the hard questions in life? No one seems to ask me questions regarding such simple does and do nots such as stealing or lusting over such and such. Instead they ask me toughies such as why are we here or what does God want me to do with my life and yada yada yada. I don't know, ask God! Yeah I said it! Go ask the Uber Being upstairs what the meaning of life is or what your purpose is. I sure as heck do not know. Of course Rick Warren has made my life a doozy by writing a book that seems to know the answers to all the hard stuff. Like 2,000 years of Christianity has now been condensed to a 200 page book. But I digress. It seems in all my years of ministry (read two weeks) that right answer is seldom found from within the individual but within the community of those who are searching for the truth.
I also wish to devote my life to video games, which are fun and help remove the stress of being a highly important person. I think the currently world leaders should decide the fate of the political world with a video game rumble! I think Japan will win. I also think that the major religions should fight for the right of undisputed truth claims. I think Christianity will win for the other religions are to devote in their own faith to have time for video games. If i used all my chapel skips in college to practice Counter Strike instead of sleping in, I would be a world champion. Of course atheist would probably be the best gamers out there... but then again they probably use their heatheness to score with the opposite sex than with Mario. That means a Japanesse Christian world is destined to be the best form of government around. Don't ask me why... ask God.