If You Can't Open The Fridge Pack Of Coke, Then Stay Out Of The Fridge

You know who you are. This is the last warning. I am tired of picking up the six Cokes that fall out because you are unable to tear a perforated section out of the box. I don't know who did it. Was it you Matthew? Or how about my wife? Perhaps it was Dad? No matter what, this has to come to an end! It's not hard people. Ripping the entire end of the box open is not an alternative! Is this how you treat God's precious gift of Coca-Cola Classic? What do you do with your salvation? Do you throw it around trying to force your sinful ways the same way you do the Fridge Pack? If you can't be trusted with small things how are you to handle the big things in life? I guess I will show grace to the unfortunate soul who destroyed the Fridge Pack sometime last night/ this morning. I will forgive. However I will be slow to forgive those who continue to fall away after they have been shown the error of their ways. Should you be allowed to incorrectly open the Fridge Pack so that my grace should increase in your life? Heck No! So stop it already, whoever you are.

Fear, The Christmas Beard and Capitalism

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! I am sorry that I have not written anything in a while but I got scared. Why? Well my little post on Mr. Robertson was actually read by people I do not know. Sometimes they are called "new people" in the blogging world. Well that scared me! Were they spies sent out to review my blog and make recommendations to those in the higher offices of the 700 Club or perhaps my denominational HQ? Scary.
Well it's that time of the year again. It's time for the Christmas Beard. The Christmas Beard is a time honored tradition where I become lazy and do not shave. It just so happens that this beard appears around the Christmas Season and departs around the beginning of the Season of Epiphany. Some in the secular world have deemed it the "Finals Beard" Since it occurs around the academic calendar of Final Exams. I will put up a picture when I get the chance.
Why the Christmas Beard? Surely I can't be that lazy right? Well I only shaved once a week to begin with and I still have to shave some. The Christmas Beard is more about laziness; it is about freedom, freedom from Capitalism. The evil, Top Hatted Capitalist once again poked their bloated heads into the Christmas Season trying to sell their wares that destroy our earth and our souls. Well I stand up for the good that still remains during this season and therefore I will not buy those Mach3 Turbo blades that so gently cut the coarse hairs of injustice and leave behind the smooth-to-the-touch face of freedom. I will suffer with my brothers who have to settle for Bic disposable or even the old straight razor and strap. This season I will not request the Costco economy pack of blades of the mighty Mach3. So take that Capitalist!

Something Smart For A Change?

Ok, Ok. I know it seems impossible, but here is a good link in regards to how some Christians are against the teaching of intelligent design. Who knew they were Catholics?
here

I'm Pat Robertson... And I'm An Idiot!

Hello. Most of you do not know me but I am an important person. Many years ago I started a TeeVee ministry called the "700 Club." Why did I name it that you ask? Well to be honest it is the largest number I could think of. I thought that if I could reach out to the 700 real Christians out there that I could make a difference for Jesus in the Good Ol' U.S. of A. Therefore I support God and guns and wish all them gays to go back to hell from whence they game, thus says the Lord!
I know that I have received a lot of flack in recent weeks as I have called for the assanation of a democratically elected world leader, and just last week I told a small town in Pennsylvania that God was going to destroy their town for not teaching the Bible side of creation to their youngin's. Pastor Stew here has shown me that the Bible in fact does not really teach a 6, 24 hour days creation. He reminded me that it would be impossible to have 24 hour days due to the fact that the sun, which is how we designate the movement of time that we call hours and days, as well as the moon, which corresponds to seasons and months were not in fact created until the fourth day of creation. Also Pastor Stew showed me how Genesis chapter 2 is a synopsis of what occurred on the 6th day. If we take chapters 1 and 2 literally then we must understand that Adam had to name every animal in one day and then take time for a nap in which a woman could be made from half his body. I don't know about you but I don't think that I could name every animal in one day. So therefore I had to agree that my views were not only wrong but unbiblical! Gee golly wiz!
But then I started thinking that this Pastor Stew fella is one of those La Tinos that I have heard about on the TeeVee. If that is true than he may be a Commie like that guy from Venezuela that needs to be taken out. I might be an idiot Pastor Stew, but I ain't no Commie! So I think that I might still be preachin' what I think is right because I know that Jesus wants me and the Good Ol' U.S. of A. to be a Pro-Guns, Anti-Gay country. You can take all your fancy academics and give it back to that Liberal Satan whence it game, thus says the Lord! God Bless America... and no one else!

The Honeymoon Is Over!

The honeymoon in my first pastorate is over. No, I did not lose my job, but the job is no work. To say that I have been very busy is an understatement. I sometimes think that my wife the med student has more free time and has more fun. Alas, I am officially a grown up. I have not blogged in a while due to the fact of having nothing to really blog about. My dilemma with blogging is that I refuse to blog about my work in the church. Truth be told, I do not think it is very pastoral to talk crap about people from my church, especially on the internet. Sadly, this would give me countless hours of material, but I have to take the high road here. Therefore it is increasingly more difficult to create blog entries. All of my creative energies are used in writing Bible studies and leading various small groups. In my fifth month of ministry I have already hit the level of despair that all pastors find themselves in from time to time. What's better is that I have no financial security after this month. Well maybe that's Good News as I can apply for Welfare like ODB! (R.I.P.) Over all I have decided... Make that confirmed ( I decided this a long time ago) that I do not want to really be a pastor of a church in the regards of all the day to day stuff. I would rather be a pastor of the poor and needy who come faithfully to receive the Gospel and some necessities (this is one of my current ministry duties).
Of course this is a major cop-out. It is the reality that people can suck from time to time and therefore require me to actually put forth effort in trying to reach them. I guess I am just scared. Scared of failing, scared of losing faith, or scared of success. I don't know. Right now I feel as if I am holding on to potential and that gives off an erie vibe. Of course it must be the same feeling for God who seems to be waiting on us using our potential. I guess God is getting the shorter end of that. However, I have been asking myself the question of what will be the indicator of a successful ministry? Is it numerical growth? Is it "spiritual growth?" Does it even need to grow? Sometimes I feel that my ministry here is designed for me to grow more than anything else. I need some more work to smooth off those rough edges before I go venturing forth to the jungles of Southeast Asia.
For those who have been interested, I have been spending my gaming time between Fable for the XBOX and Age of Empires II for PC. AGE, as my friends and I called it in college, is an old favorite and it reminds me of more ignorant (and therefore) more fun times of my naive youth. Here's to college ignorance!

This Blog Is Going In A New Direction

It has been some time since I bloged on this website. Well the truth of the matter is that I am not sure if I want to stay in the blogging business. Personally I think my life is boring and that my mind can make a world that is funnier and more entertaining. I am thinking of starting a blog that will look similar a satire news site like the Onion. Or I could be lazy and develop something similar to that right here on this blog. I have come to the conclusion that people around the world do not care about me, or others for that manner. Instead I shall offer the masses what they want, more entertainment. Maybe I could educate a few people in the process.